PickledCherub

Friday, June 04, 2004

 

Not Enough for a Large

Do we ever regret a change in perspective? As in, when our knowledge of certain things expands, and the timbre of our outlook shifts. I'm rarely upset by a change of perspective that shifts my present, but when I re-examine the past by the new light, that's when I find the whole thing disturbing. I'm speaking of, specifically, people. And not of the good that people are capable of, and not of the intimacy that is possible, but of the disappointments that accumulate. The moments when there's no going back, and we're forced to keep going on with our new knowledge. I think of these as loss of faith moments. But maybe it would be better to call them loss of childish faith moments. Because it seems that when childish faith is lost, perspective is gained.

Then again, I'm constantly reviewing my present in light of my past, and my own literal loss of faith in the Catholic Church, and more specifically in her worldly liaisons. What perspective did I gain from that, though? My opinions, my intellectual opinions, about the episode have changed much over the years, but not my gut response.

Will life be forever a process of separating the wheat from the chaff?


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