I'm 33 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Which means I'm pretty close to giving birth, or at least to the opening of the window of when I can safely give birth at home or the birth center. And since we just moved a week ago, the house is not really ready. We're half moved in. There are boxes half unpacked in the kitchen and Chris's office is a pile of things with nowhere to go. We don't have anything but a few blankets and some clothes for the baby, and the infant car seat Marian and Katy got us. I ordered some diapers this morning and that made me feel better. We're going the cloth diaper route.
The little one is thumping around inside me and Chris is taking a shower. The dogs are splayed out across my maternity pillow at the foot of the bed. I love our new house. It's on the East Bay Trail, so there's always birds chirping and waves gently crashing and little mammals that look like squirrels popping out from between the rocks.
I want to give birth here. It feels so peaceful. But I have a few worries about it. One, there is a train that cuts off the peninsula we live on. If we needed to transport to the hospital for whatever reason and the train were there . . . it could be a while before we could get through. Unless we played pregnant hobo and jumped the train. Two, I worry about the midwives not being comfortable here, or there being another birth at the same time and they need to go to the center. I don't want to be selfish, I guess. The birth center is lovely, it's beautiful, it has a giant bathtub and lots of great things to recommend it, but I couldn't really go outside. And, the drive from here to there while in labor seems like it would be stressful or distracting. Three, we'd have to pack food to bring, in addition to everything else. For some reason, the catering of the birth is one of my big concerns.
It's not like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm stuck between two very nice soft places.