Sometimes I think I need to pick a career. I think that writing inspirational essays and memoirs and novels might be a good one. Some stuff about the "Truth of Angels (and Why They Love You)" or "Every Single One of You Gets to go to Heaven." "Chicken Soup for the Vegan Soul." "Love Isn't (Just) for Suckers."
I mean, I really used to think that I was going to be some sort of writer when I grew up.
Life at a coffee shop, slowly digesting a sandwich, forced to listen to some music I never liked that much, it is not so bad. The wedding is in four weeks and three days. We finally booked the honeymoon. We're going to Canada! I wonder if it's going to be really boring. It looks beautiful. The nearest town is Tofino, which seems really small. Maybe it'll feel like Northern Exposure or something.
In other news, I registered for school next quarter. I will be taking some classes that I am afraid of. Mostly Science.
I'm getting antsy. This weekend is a trip halfway to San Francisco.
It's so sunny and warm today! So sunny and warm that I decided to make chicken stock, baba ganoush and hummus! And clean the kitchen and mop the floor! Now the dishwasher is running and I'm reading about enviromentally responsible wedding bands.
I'm not sure what else to do today. Maybe eat something delicious!
Last night we went to Steve's Birthday Party after eating a mildly disappointing Tibetan dinner. The party was very fun, and we had a few beers, ate some gummy bears, talked about eloping. Eloping is my secret dream. I don't know if you knew that already, but I have this fantasy where Chris and I go to Voodoo Donuts or Las Vegas and just get married, and enjoy ourselves, and maybe invite a few friends and our parents. Simple, fun, fast. Holly brought up the idea of a double elopement (she and Steve are getting married in June)--and it made me so happy to hear that I'm not the only one who wants to elope.
I've been looking at some pictures of NY hipsters on the internet. Man, they are just like Portland hipsters, but to an extreme! I'm going to have to accept that I'm a hipster--and probably have been for a while--but lately, here's the thing. Lately, I am a Lamester! I don't like going to shows (too many people), I do like dive bars, but I also like swank fancy pants bars. I go to the gym that the hipsters go to (did you think they got so skinny simply by smoking cigarettes and disdaining things? No, hipster are in love with the elliptical machine), but my work out clothes are from TARGET! Essentially, I feel a little too lame to be a hipster--I can't be bothered to dress up like one or wear the fancy shoes. (I've been wearing the same sneakes for six months now--and they are not converse or vans.)
I think the hipsters are admirable, mainly because they put so much effort into what they wear, how their hair looks, what they listen to, etc etc. I just can't be bothered.
I realize that my last post was sort of depressing. But I was really angry. Mainly because Chris forgot to call me when he was out really late. I have trouble sleeping when I don't know when or if someone is going to get into bed with me.
I'm learning to program Ruby, still. I get stuck every once in a while and think "I can't do this, this is too confusing." But so far I've been able to power through with Chris's help.
Today was alright. Went to the gym (fed the pythons), put in some laundry, wrote some eensy programs. I'm at a coffee shop with Amanda and we're on different couches.
This is a beautiful time of the year to live in Portland.
My neck is tense, my throat aches, I can't calm my heart down. I have not felt this angry, physically angry, in a long long time. I want to get a good night's sleep--that's what I wanted earlier this evening. Now it's 4:37 in the morning and I am wide awake.
It would have been so easy, so simple, and really, so decent, to avoid this anger.
It's like mom always said. "Same shit, different day."